I never thought I would say this. It has tooken me twenty years, a lot of pain and a great deal of reflection to come to this point. Yet this year I have added one more person to my list of people that I am thankful for.
I am actually thankful for my ex-husband.
I am thankful that he has been present and very involved in the lives of my children.
I think it is extremely important for both parents to be involved in the upbringing of children.
I am thankful that he allowed me the privilege of doing most of the raising. He had them every single weekend but I was more nurturing and I had them the majority of the time.
During the teenage years he wanted the boys to live with him in Florida. I resisted but now I see that this time with their Dad and stepmother taught them a lot about life.
This past week my youngest son stayed with me and he was such a help to me. He fixed so many things in my house and helped me in so many different ways. He is such a good son and he is a remarkable young man.
I know that his Dad taught him how to do drywall and that is what he did in some areas of my house. I am thankful that my ex taught my sons how to be resourceful and how to do home repairs.
I wish he would have been more generous in child support but I managed. I have always been good at managing money and as a result of not getting much child support I was forced to become successful in my career. I am very respected as being a competent professional in my field.
If I had gotten the full amount of child support I may have become dependent on him instead of independent in my own right.
I like being independent. I also don’t hold any animosity towards him or his wife on account of money. They give as much as they can to help out the children and I am thankful for everything they have done for the children.
I think this may be the ultimate in forgiveness.
When you are thankful for someone who may have hurt you and you think of them with gratitude, instead of pain. I think at that point you may have crossed the threshold from pain into forgiveness.
I can tell you this. It is like stepping out of a horrible, blinding storm and walking into the brilliance of a sunset.