Life continued on, no matter how difficult it was, it still continued.
From 1998-2007 I worked for a few different companies. I worked weekends until my children were at school with occasional jumps into management if I could find a good babysitter.
I was very involved in my children’s life. My relationship with my ex-husband evolved into one of friendship.
I doubt that he would have been my friend if he had paid the correct child support.
There are several lessons I learned during these years that I will share with you.
#1. A step-pArent can never take the place of a loving natural parent. They may try but they won’t accomplish it. It is best to disregard all of their attempts because the more your respond to their manipulation and immaturity the more power you give them.
Case in point – My ex-husband married his boss. At soccer games and basketball games she would prevent my children from even sitting with me. She acted like they were her natural children, not mine.
It irritated me but as I prayed about it I realized she was nothing more than a babysitter. I was the one who had been chosen by God to be the natural mother to my amazing children, not her. So I just ignored her.
One of my friends assaulted the stepmother of her kids when a similar incident happened. She gave the stepmother the power in that confrontation to forsake her testimony for Christ. .
You never want to let the enemy know when they have grazed your heart with pain. The devil knows what you love the most and he will use people to hurt you in that most cherished area if you allow them.
2. I invited my ex-husband to the birthday parties of my children for several years. He always came with his anger and his demeaning “I am better than you” attitude. After several years of this I decided that it was the children’s birthday party, not his and I could throw a better party if I didn’t invite him.
3. My ex-husband was verbally and emotionally abusive. I remember the day when he had unleashed his crap on me through a phone conversation and it had ceased to hurt anymore. I didn’t give a shit what he thought about me. I also learned to hang up on him. It is important to place positive people in places of influence in your life. Negative people only try to get you to sink to their level.
4. I occasionally get hateful emails from him and his third wife. It is not necessary to respond to them. I know they are nasty people and the emails just confirm what I already knew.