My son is in from Florida. He came with his girlfriend to attend the college graduation of my daughter. In June he will be moving to Maryland to start working at the NIH. In August he will be going to the John Hopkins University to work on his Doctorate in medical research.
The boy has God given brilliance and ambition and he wants to find a cure for cancer. I have no doubt he can accomplish this task.
This morning he and his girlfriend came down for breakfast and we started to contemplate the ailments of society. He is pretty far left and I was too, at his age. As I have matured, I have leaned more to the right in my political preferences.
As we were discussing life and the complexities of such, I realized that this was a moment I wanted to capture and tuck away in my memory vault.
There have been many moments in my life which have been painful. When I was a little girl I trained my mind to capture those moments so that I could cry myself to sleep. I didn’t want to give my mother the satisfaction of her knowing that she had hurt me. So I learned at a very early age how to wear the mask of a smile while harboring memories which could cut through my heart like a dagger.
As I grew older I have become more selective at which memories I treasure. I try to captivate all of the wonderful times I have had recently with my daughter. I love to revisit memories of being with my sons also. I realize that my mother did as best as she could and I don’t believe she realized how deeply her critical nature wounded me. I also relive each and every precious moment I encounter with my boyfriend.
It is a choice what memories we choose to treasure, but those which are filled with pain and anger have the potential to grow roots of bitterness which can strangle our heart. If we choose to treasure memories of happiness, we make the choice to nurture the fountain of joy which God instills in our hearts.
I still have to make a conscious choice as to what I keep in my memory vault and sometimes I realize I have to refile the memories in a different folder.