I have had a bit of a battle recently regarding the situation I am currently in. My collar bone sustained another fracture recently while taking out the hardware from a previous fracture.

There is the tendency towards anger when you feel as if you have not been treated correctly by the medical establishment. Today I notified my insurance company of the incompetence of an ER I had visited in the midst of this crisis. I informed them that I was not going to pay the bill due to the pain and anguish I had suffered for an additional six days because they could not read a CAT scan correctly.

Tomorrow I will ask for the name of the administrator and write the head honcho an account of my demise. I would like to suggest some ER protocols be put in place so that what happened to me does not happen to others.

I have not taken any action against the surgeon though. The surgeon did the initial collar bone resection four and a half years ago. He said it probably just hadn’t healed correctly. I find that suspect. However, this surgeon pieced together a collar bone that was severely broken.

I had no issue with the metal plate and screws until the last couple of years. I could write a scathing review and have formed one in my mind already. Yet I think that would be repaying evil for good. He fit me into his schedule in December when he was probably working sixteen hour days because everyone who had met their deductible was trying to slide in under the rug. He is a genuinely nice guy also.

I have battled with this. Wanting to do the right thing.

Today as I met with some dear lady friends to have a Bible Study. The Lord brought into my mind Judas. Jesus knew that Judas would betray him. He had to know this. He was God. If Jesus knew Judas was going to be the one to put him on the cross, why in God’s name did he ask him to be a disciple?

Not only that, Jesus actually called him “My friend” at the moment Judas betrayed him. Yet without the evil of Judas, the sacrifice of Jesus would have not happened. This sacrifice changed the world.

I think sometimes evil is only as powerful as we allow it to be. I have taken this unexpected time off of work to reconnect with a man who has been such an example of Jesus in my life it humbles me daily. I have also continued to work on my novel. I don’t think my surgeon is evil. He strikes me as a good Christian man but to be disabled for 5 weeks has the potential to bring out the anger in me.

Every day I try to do something which will honor God. I am struggling to bring the novel to completion and start it on the road to publication. Ever since I decided to rewrite the entire manuscript my life has been riddled with one crisis after another. It has been the most wicked and trying 8 years of my life. My thought is that this novel must be an awesome work of God if it has stirred the devil up to that extent. All of the trials and difficulties I have gone through just make me more determined to finish it.

Because what the devil meant for evil God means for good. All you have to do is look at Jesus to know the truth of that statement.

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