I started writing my novel in the year of 2000. I initially intended to write a story to draw more empathy for single mothers. I worked on that manuscript for eight to nine years. When I had finished it I gave it to a Christian friend of mine who was also penning a novel. He said it was horrible. He tore it apart in his critique. I was crushed.
I remember asking God what was going on? I had thought this novel was what he wanted me to write. He said,”There is too much of the devil in it. It is a spiritual warfare novel and you have not given me enough glory.”
After writing a novel close to 400 pages and having paid a publishing company a pretty large sum to publish it I pulled the novel from publication.
I started the rewrite and developed a whole new plot line which was based on the Bible, not my pity for single mothers. The book has developed into a beautiful masterpiece which glorifies God and not the devil.
You would think that once I got my story straight that my life would be free of obstacles and trials right? Not so much, since I started the rewrite I have encountered one attack after another from the devil.
In 2010 I went through a most vicious time with my ex,fighting for custody of my two boys. I felt so betrayed and hurt through this experience. When I lost the fight and my boys went to go live with their father I considered, for a moment, the option of walking away from God.
I just couldn’t do it though. God is such an integral part of my life to walk away from him would be to abandon my joy.
I learned through this experience to be careful who I share my struggles with. If you share your struggles with those who are steeped in bitterness, you will only sow hatred and bitterness in your heart. It is important to spend time with God in these times of darkness.
I learned to listen carefully to my two sons who had chosen to live with their Dad. They said he wasn’t the better parent but the school system where he lived was exceptional. I had always encouraged my children in their studies, so this was a natural yearning for them.
My ex was also great about disciplining them. His rope is very short when it comes to disobedience and he broke them of their habitual addiction to video games.
The other aspect of my ex is that he was a very involved Dad. He didn’t pop in after all of the raising had been done and then whisk them away. They had stayed with him every weekend since the divorce. When he moved to Florida to nurture the relationship with the woman, who is now his wife, my sons missed him.
Through prayer and communion with the Holy Spirit all of this became apparent to me.
The main issue I had with all of the court drama was that it wasted so much of my time and my money. I would have much rather been penning my novel than talking with lawyers and throwing money down their toilets of incompetence.
At that time I was also working for a very vile company in Dallas who threatened to sue me when I resigned. They were scared that I would take some of my patients with me.
I basically had enough of wicked people after having dealt with the judges in family court, incompetent lawyers and now a company who was threatening a lawsuit. I decided to resign from my nursing career until this company could regain its sanity and I thought I would work on my novel.
For some reason, I just didn’t have a desire to write in it at this time. I got some of it written but my passion had waned.
It was during this time that I tripped and fell and broke my collar bone. I didn’t have insurance and I had no savings. It was a struggle to keep a float financially but I still had to pay child support.
After that fracture I started this blog because my doctor said all I could do was write.
Now, four and a half years later, I have another fracture in the same collar bone. Apparently something happened in surgery when they were taking the metal out of the bone that caused another fracture.
So now I am forced to take another 1-2 months off of nursing. However, I am totally pumped about finishing my novel and getting it published under my own publication label.
In the Bible the Lord wants me to be joyful in trials. “2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
I am trying to be joyful and I truly am delighted that I have a space of time to finish my book. Yet I must be honest, sometimes when you are fully committed to doing God’s work is when the testing is the most difficult. That is when it is important to have a church family who loves you and friends who are true blue friends.
In addition to this, I am so thankful for everyone in my blog audience. I am close to 18,000 followers and I really value each one of you.
If you feel led to pray for me, Iwould appreciate prayers for the healing of my right collar bone. I ask that you intercede for me also because I have a temper and when doctors and hospitals don’t act right I want to unload my anger on them. I need to have the Holy Spirit guide me in this but I don’t believe I should have to pay for incompetence. Need prayers. please.