After hearing the Holy Spirit say that I should do His will and not my own I began meditating on the Lord’s prayer. I realize I had prayed wrong for most of my life.

I have prayed mostly about me, me, me, me and then my children, then me, me, me and maybe a friend of mine, then my children, then me, me, and me again. Sometimes I prayed for my parents or persecuted Christians overseas but the large part of my prayer life was a whirlwind with me as the epicenter.

It is a wonder that I have such a tender and intimate relationship with God considering how selfish my prayers have been. I felt led to dissect the Lord’s prayer into sections so that I could learn how to pray the way that Jesus taught.

The first line of the Lord’s prayer is, “Our Father who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy name.”

When we say our Father we must keep in mind that He seeks to be the Father of all lost souls. We may do well to keep in mind those who have harmed or sought to deceive us when we form our prayers to Him, realizing that is is those whom He is yearning to draw into the fold.

The salutation of “Father” includes so many wonderful attributes. Among these is love, forgiveness, discipline, protection and provision. He seeks our compassion more than our sacrifice. He wants to be loved like you would love a wonderful Father.

“He is in heaven.” Well, of course He is in heaven but acknowledging this enfolds so many aspects which we may not be aware of. Acknowledging that He is in heaven is in effect saying that He knows all of eternity and from His viewpoint He can see which path would be wisest for us to choose. He not only knows everything but is entirely without sin. He is righteous and holy, omnipresent and powerful.

“Hallowed be thy name.” This is a way to give glory to God. Hallowed is the same word which is interspersed with sanctification in other parts of the Bible. Sanctification means to be free from sin. God is Holy and without sin and in saying this we acknowledge Him as our righteous judge.

Amazing, there is not one word which refers to me in the first part of the Lord’s prayer. lol No wonder some of mine have not been answered like I would like them to be answered.

God’s will

I am such a big fan of prayer. I don’t think I have gone a day in my life without praying. It is such a part of me that it is like breathing. Even when I am not praying, my thoughts are continually including God in their midst.

The other morning as I was laying in bed I heard the words, “Not my will but Thine be done.” I know Jesus said those words but why were they echoing through my brain?

I started thinking about the Lord’s prayer and the passage which says “Your kingdom come. Your will be done. On earth as it is in heaven.”

I began thinking more about what I do every day. I do home health nursing and I know this is a necessity. I have bills to pay. I also have three children in college and I need to help them pay for their expenses. I am very busy and my job is serving other people so that would be God’s will wouldn’t it?

Not exactly. God has said in no uncertain terms that I am to be a Christian writer. Well, I am blogging right? Yes, and most of my blogs relate to Christ and God but that is still not fulfilling God’s will. His will is for me to complete my first novel and then write several more.

Many of the things I do in my life I do to please others. I am a nurse because it pays the bills and provides for my children. I am a writer because I am called by God to be a writer and so far it hasn’t paid many bills. I am assured that it will when I publish my novel.

So many times I think we do things to please people and we fail to realize that we are placed on earth to please God.

I think if we truly wish for God’s will to be done on earth as it is in heaven it can be a life changer.

Do you know what God’s will is for your life? If you do know, are you fulfilling His will or your own?

Spring storms

I had thought we may just slide by this Spring. We had had several storms with buckets of rain but no hail or high winds. Remarkably no tornadoes were even mentioned.

I caught myself complaining about all of the rain and cloudy skies and then became ashamed because we have been in a drought in Texas for many years. We need rain more than we need oil and/or gas wells.

So I began praising God for the gentle rains and thanking Him for the nourishment of healthy rain falling from the heavens to nurture my gardens.

Then a couple of days ago the storms started getting fierce; high winds and hail were reported. God has been so consistent in protecting me from nature’s devastation. Even my mother said that when she was watching the weather she could see that where I lived it seemed as if the line of storms was thin. When He protects me in this way I feel His love as if He is a nurturing Father who is constantly on the watch for me, His daughter.

I started thinking how wonderful God has been to me throughout the years. I have always been protected from hail and tornado devastation as far back as when I was just a child.

But what if He hadn’t? What if my house was the only house for miles which got pummeled by hail that was the size of oranges? What if my house was the only one ravished by a tornado and all other ones still had every shingle? How would I feel then?

Would I doubt His love? I believe I would but should I? Is His love so tied to my things that I can’t let go of them if He chooses to take them away from me?

If my house was harmed in a hail storm or a tornado would that mean that He had stopped loving me?

The greatest act of love that God has ever done was to sacrifice His Son for my sins. No tornado, hail or thunderstorm can change that. Nothing ever will. It is the greatest sacrifice of love ever given throughout all of history.

I am deeply grateful for the blessing of my beautiful home, my car and my amazing children but these are all things which have been given to me in addition to the greatest gift. The greatest gift is the blood of Jesus which covers my sins and allows me to be in communion with God on a daily basis. There is nothing that can rip that from my heart nor tear that love from my soul. That love is what brings me joy every morning and that is the source of my humble praise for God.


I came to the conclusion that if I wanted to truly love others I would have to forgive those who had never truly loved me.


I have thought that I forgave him. I don’t think about what he did anymore. I have tried to stop discussing how cruel he was to me. Occasionally I bring it up when talking with a close friend but it is not a frequent topic of conversation.

A few weeks ago I was disagreeing with someone. This someone was somebody that both he and I love. This person started backing me up into a corner just like he used to when he didn’t get his way. I was at the point of tears, just like I had done when I was with him. I felt powerless, which is how I often felt with him. I was horrified to think that he may have had such influence on someone I loved so deeply that he would cause this person to treat me like he had treated me.

The fear, the pain and the rejection all came flooding back into my heart and soul. The wounds in my heart started bleeding profusely again. I thought that ignoring them would stop the bleeding. It didn’t.

This person whom I love had sent me a text and I thought it was threatening. I was still backed up in the cage of fear. My back was against the wall and everything was perceived as an attack.

Several days later I confronted this person that I loved with the tone of the text message. He said it was not threatening. I said I would read it again. I read it yesterday before I talked with the person I love and I didn’t perceive it to be a threat.

I became concerned with the disagreement I had had with the person I deeply love. I was not content with the way that we had responded.The thing that terrified me most was that I had gone back into the cage of fear. I had felt as if I was dealing with the same spiritual entity that had waged war against me in my previous relationship with the man who had been so cruel.

I realized what a phony I had been. If I had truly forgiven him the cage should have been locked, the wounds should have been healed.

I thought I had forgiven him and I realized I hadn’t even begun to forgive.

I came to the conclusion that if I wanted to truly love others I would have to forgive those who had never truly loved me.


I have had to rethink some things lately. Recently I have felt led to change companies. This has caused me to reflect on my career history and the involvement of God in my life choices.

I have realized that I have put way too much faith in money and companies to provide for my financial welfare. No company can provide for me the way that God can. He owns everything and whatever He decides to give me will come my way because it is His will, not mine.

Many times I have applied and landed a job and I don’t feel the presence of God in the company. Sometimes the companies have claimed to be Christian but they struggle to be honest in their business dealings.

Whenever I leave a company there is a bit of sadness. Leaving my present company has been very difficult because I really care for the people who work there, as well as the patients.

On occasion, in the past, I have been terminated from a job and I remember feeling so condemned and worthless. Although I have not been fired very often, in every instance, I knew that God did not want me there. Maybe I should have left sooner so that the company would not be forced to push me out the door.

It is always difficult to change and many times when we are forced to change we think we have failed in some way.

I want to propose a different way to view this. I think that God moves me in and out of circumstances, companies, and relationships to fulfill a purpose. Sometimes this purpose is to teach me a lesson, sometimes it is for me to change the dynamic of a company through the wisdom that God has given me and other times it is for me to gain a friend. Occasionally I score in all three categories. I think I have scored in all three with the present company I am leaving.

When my work is done is it not important for me to ask God where He wants me to go next? In my current circumstance God helped me so much. He opened up another door for me to walk through before I had to close the door to the current company I am working with.

I admire people who work for a company for 10-20 years but that is not how God made me. He made me eager to seek new challenges and adventures and He has given me a life which has been full of such blessings. So I am letting go and moving on and thankful for every step along the way.


It has been twice now that I have heard that the Second Coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is coming soon. One of my guy friends, who is Catholic, heard a revelation when he was praying. Then the other night I had Christian radio on and I heard a testimony from a wife of a man who is imprisoned overseas for his faith. This man asked God if He was real then why hadn’t Jesus come yet because in the New Testament it seems as if it is immediate. This dear man had three visitations by Jesus and Jesus said he was coming again soon.

I too have received a vision of the second coming. It will be within my lifetime. My concern is not when He comes though. Only the heavenly Father knows the time of that. My concerns is will he recognize His bride?

Well, all He would have to do is walk into your church and He would see His bride right?

I don’t think so. One of the times when I felt farthest away from God was after a 6 month time when I was serving the church almost every day. I was burned out at the end of those six months and I didn’t even know if God was in that church but I knew I felt that I had lost Him.

We have all of these silly little programs in church and all of these demands on our time to keep us busy and feeling like we are contributing but Jesus didn’t tell us to go to church. He told His disciples to spread the good news. We are to run after those who are lost as if they are our children because God wants them to be His. If we are busy doing anything else it may not be what God wants us to do.


I was talking with my mother the other day and she started telling me about something she saw on TV about how college kids were spending their spring break. She said it was disgusting. She said that one girl had gotten drunk and a whole bunch of guys were having sex with her on the beach. She was going into one of her rants and I had to get off of the phone.

I don’t need to hear that. My children have not done that and I do not need to hear my mother go on and on about how sinful the young kids are today. I am sick of people putting down the teenagers today and acting like the old people are saints. The old people are the ones responsible for the moral decay because they did nothing to stop it.

Beyond that though I started talking to God about that poor girl who was being violated on the beach. How humiliating that must have been for her. I started praying for her. Who knows if she got an STD or became pregnant?
It really bothered me that she had been treated that way. How come no one intervened? Were people thinking she deserved it because she got drunk? Had she been asking for it?

It still bothers me and I am still praying for her. When people judge and condemn others because of their sins it is wasting words and time. What God wants us to do is to pray for them and intervene if possible. It is amazing that this was broadcast on television and no one did anything for her. I find that in itself disgusting.


I am going to expand upon my critique of the sermon I witnessed this weekend. There was false doctrine interspersed with truth. The last topic was Money. The preacher said women are to be wealth managers. I agree with this.

When I was married my husband paid all of the bills while I was working. I got very little money to spend but we worked on a very strict budget. He was kind enough to allow me to quit working when I had my third child. He asked me at that time to pay the bills because he knew he would be too stressed out to do it.

I appreciated that and started paying the bills. Under my management I got our family out of debt and then he left me for another woman. lol. Although I missed him when he left I was glad that I had had the experience of budgeting and paying bills prior to his leaving. We both knew the marriage was not working so it was no surprise that he left. (Not trying to bash the ex-husband)

I think it is wise for a woman to know how to handle money and to know how to budget but the pastor didn’t stop there. He went on to say that money could create. What? Yes, he said just that. I don’t know how money could create because it is just a silly piece of green cloth. Last time I checked, God had the monopoly on creation.

Then he started bragging about how many houses he had, twelve houses at last count. He went on to say how much land had been given to him. He said that one of his houses had a waterfall in it. Goodness me, why on earth would a human need more than one house when there are so many who are homeless? I have a hard enough time taking care of one house, twelve would be an insane amount to take care of.

I was hoping I would hear a sermon on the resurrection of Christ because this breakfast was on Easter weekend. Instead I heard a very wealthy pastor begging for people to give him more money.

The Spirit of the Anti-Christ involves buying and selling. Makes me wonder which Christ the prosperity gospel preachers are worshiping. Hmmmm, let me check the Bible…

In Matthew 6:24 the Bible states:”No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

Please dear Brothers and Christ do not be deceived. Jesus came to give His life for our sins and it is only Him who can guarantee our salvation. These wolves who are begging for money and camouflage themselves as pastors are not of Him and they may not even make it into heaven. Follow God and Him alone, believe that Jesus gave His life for your sins and was raised again to conquer death. That is all that is needed to be a Christian, twelve houses is eleven too many. According to Matthew 6:24, this pastor may not have a mansion in heaven and he can not take any of his twelve houses with him.


I was invited to a Church gathering over the weekend. I had a delicious breakfast but it curdled in my stomach when the preacher started preaching. The topic was on Men, Marriage and Money. I was looking forward to it but as usual I had my radar up.

The first thing that offended me was when the pastor alluded to a woman who had married four very wealthy husbands. They had all died but she had profited from each relationship. When asked how she managed to get four wealthy men she said “She immersed herself in their world.”

That indicates to me that that women had no identity of her own. Neither did she have any self confidence, for to immerse yourself in someone else you must not know who you are.

Alas, though, is being Christian not immersing yourself in the identity of Christ? Yes, it is, but since Christ is your creator and was present at that momentous event, to immerse yourself in Him is only to know yourself more fully.

I have had boyfriends who wanted me to immerse myself in them and it drove me nuts. Those men brought out a side of me which I didn’t even know I had. I became a very cold and heartless person to them and that is not who Jesus created me to be.

I believe the heavenly Father would not want a woman to give up her identity for any man. Jesus never treated women with disdain.

But doesn’t the Bible say that a woman is to submit to her husband?

Yes, it does, but submission is showing respect to a man, not abandoning who you are for a man. If God really wanted us to just be an extension of a man don’t you think he could have attached another arm to a man and called that his wife?

The only bridegroom worthy immersion and total submission is Jesus. I believe that Jesus wants us to be women of honor for Him. Not someone’s door mat to get a wealthy lifestyle.

Tomorrow I will expose more of the lies that this preacher propagated. When someone uses a pulpit to spread false doctrine I get riled up.