Note to my readers. This post was scheduled for release before Father’s day. Unfortunately my draft scheduler did not release it. I hope you don’t mind reading it 6 weeks after the fact because today has to be another “Martha” day for me and I usually write when I am in the “Mary” mode.

I had a “Martha” day yesterday. I cooked all day yesterday for other people. I baked two lasagna’s, a big kettle full of chicken noodle soup and two blackberry/blueberry pies. In addition to that I roasted a pork butt and made it into a very delicious barbecue dish.

Needless to say by the end of the day I was exhausted. The lasagna, pie and barbecue were cooked for my parents who I will be visiting this weekend. The other lasagna and chicken noodle soup were prepared for my daughter since she sprained her ankle and can’t do much weight bearing activities presently.

In the evening I got a call from a friend who lives in Dallas. He said he needed someone to pick him up from the hospital because he had just had a hernia repair surgery. I couldn’t refuse him because he is like a little brother to me and I love the kid.

This morning I got up thinking I was going to spend all morning taking care of my bro but then had to rush back to Keller for a hair appointment. By 9 am I decided that my hair appointment needed to be rescheduled for later in the day because there was no rushing someone who has had abdominal surgery. My poor friend could barely walk.

So I rescheduled the appointment for 4 pm. Then on the way home I got a call from a girlfriend who is going through some serious insanity in the family court system.

Usually I multitask through phone calls but this one needed my full attention. We talked for quite a while then I went to get my swim in at the pool and quickly jumped in the car to go to the hair salon.

While on my way to the salon I noticed it was actually 3 pm instead of 4 pm so I swung by the library to do some reading, then got my hair colored.

I didn’t get my house cleaned and I didn’t get any packing done but what I did do was more important. I showed the love of Christ to my friends. I took time out of my busy schedule to minister to them.

I was Mary today when I had every intention of being Martha. To be honest I had a great time being Mary but tomorrow I better get my “Martha” on because I have got a ton of work to do before I leave to go visit my Dad for Father’s day.


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I became aware of her several years ago. It happened when I answered my phone and someone told me I was about ready to lose my house because my mortgage was in default.

I told them they were crazy because I had never been late on my mortgage. I gave them some identification and they said that they had gotten the wrong person.

I came to a conclusion that someone had the same name as me and it wasn’t someone who was good. Obviously this person didn’t have the parents I had who stressed working hard and being responsible.

I thought that would be the end of it.

Then a couple of years ago when I was playing around with an identity check system and I put in my name. Again this woman popped up and I found out that she has been married five times. I have only been married once.

I tend to find that people who are frequent flyers in the marriage arena harbor a lot of heart ache.

For the most part my namesake has not created any problems for me. She crossed my mind recently when I was told that my church would have to do a background check on me because I wanted to help them launch a new ministry. I was thinking that I hoped they used other identification than just my name to do the check because I was nothing like this other woman.

Then the Holy Spirit told me why we shared the same name. Someone need to pray for this other woman. So I have started to pray for someone who shares my name, hoping that someday they will share my identity as a child of God.


There are a lot of theories and philosophies as to how to gain self confidence. I personally don’t think any of them are worth a penny. I also don’t think self confidence is worth a lick of contemplation.

Why on earth would I place confidence in myself when I know that I do so many things which are illogical, emotional and just plain wrong?

In the Bible, confidence is described as quietness and assurance.

So wait a minute there, confidence is not the ability to go on a speaking tour? Nope, nor is it the ability to hold multitudes in the palm of your hand by writing the greatest American novel. Neither is it being so good at your job and or skill that you rise to the top.

But that is not the zinger, the zinger is that the way to attain confidence, according to the almighty Father, is not what we would imagine.

Well, I imagine the way to build confidence is to be popular, successful and innovative right?

Not so much…

The way to attain quietness and assurance, which equals confidence, is through righteousness. In Isaiah 32:17 the Lord’s Word says, “The work of righteousness will be peace, and the effect of righteousness; quietness and assurance forever.”

Now I know for one I am not righteous. I try, but many times I fail in so many ways it is ridiculous. That is why I must claim the blood of Jesus over my sins but I am constantly striving to live a life which is free of the obstacles of sin.

I plead with God to show me the areas of my heart which I have locked Him out of. I ask Him to sweep clean the crevices of bitterness and unforgiveness. I beg Him to draw the drapes aside and let the brilliance of truth from the Holy Spirit shine into my soul, illuminating it to be a place which He can call home.

For you see, it is sin which makes us insecure, for it separates us from the love of God. If we seek to live a life which is righteous, we yearn for a life full of quietness and assurance, success does not even enter the equation.

When I think of confidence I think of people who are successful, articulate and popular. Isn’t it amazing that God thinks of confidence as people who are quiet and righteous?


was walking into the swimming pool complex this evening as I was going to the pool to swim laps. She had something wrong with her legs. The bottom of her legs fanned out and she had two canes which were attached to her wrists to help her walk.

She looked to be about 11=13 years old. Her dad was walking about 15 feet in front of her and her Mom was way ahead of her. I felt a bit sorry for her because walking seemed to be a strenuous activity for her and it seemed as if it would have been better for her parents to be near her.

When I got to the pool I noticed her dad and her mom were at the same pool that I was at, but their daughter was not there. It took a bit but soon she came lumbering through the gate.

The dad immediately gravitated towards her and they had a bit of an argument as to how she was to get in the pool. The dad won and he got her put in the shallow end of the pool. I still didn’t see the mom interact much with her.

I kept watching the family who was clearly engaged in a family reunion because I heard the girl say, “I just want to swim with my cousins.” I watched with critical eyes making sure that she was having a good time but spending quite a lot of time judging the other mom for her lack of involvement.

As I was swimming away from them I got slapped in the face with a thought. “What am I doing? I have three kids who are intelligent, healthy young adults and I have the nerve to judge this family which has been given a handicapped child? What the heck! I am such a hypocrite. I have no right to judge this family. They were not abusing, nor neglecting this child. She was preteen and she was probably wanting to be more independent. She was having a wonderful time with her cousins and all I could do is think mean thoughts about her mother.

So I am wearing the hypocrite badge this evening for judging another mother who has clearly had challenges that may supercede mine as a single mother. It will be up for grabs tomorrow though, anyone want to take it off of my hands?


I have been reading through Exodus lately and it is quite the read. Today I was reading about how the ark of the covenant was to be constructed.

I have a Bible that I truly love which is called the Woman’s Study Bible. This Bible is in the New King James translation. I have many Bibles in my home but this remains one of my favorite. In this Bible they had an illustration of the ark of the covenant.

When reading through Exodus 25:10-22 I learned something new, I had always known that the ark of the covenant was what contained the stone tablets of the ten commandments. What I didn’t realize was that on top of that very ark God commanded Moses to fashion a mercy seat. This was a seat which was covered by the wings of two gold cherubim angels.

This was so symbolic for me. Because you see every time God would look down from heaven towards the laws that he had commanded the Israelites to follow He would have to gaze on the mercy seat first.

I love the Bible and God’s law. I think it is the most awesome book ever written. I would love to say that I have been without error in following God’s commandments, but I know better. I sin each and every day and the closer I get to God the more sin I see hidden in my heart.

I take comfort in this passage and the salvation of God’s only Son, knowing that I am no longer judged by my righteousness but by the sacrifice of mercy, Jesus Christ.

Whatever we have done, whatever we have thought, whatever we have intended for evil can be wiped away if we just believe that Jesus came as a sacrifice for our sin.

Praise be to God who sees us through a mercy seat instead of legalism and our own righteousness. For if my ticket to heaven was based on my righteousness I wouldn’t be deemed worthy.


Had a show last night that my son was watching. I sat down in the living room and started watching it also.

Apparently a young football player had beaten his girlfriend to the point of being un-concious in an elevator and then drug her out, clearly showing disrespect for her.

According to ESPN, the abuser got fined by the NFL and had to sit two games out. I am thinking, “Okay you beat the crap out of a young woman who is your girlfriend and get a slap on the wrist?”

My son soon turned the channel and I asked him to turn it back because I wanted to see what they said about this little punk who thought he was a big man because he was a football player.

He said, “No, it was bullshit.” Then under his breath he said, “they should have kicked him off the team.”

My son is a kid who was one of the top water polo goalies in the state of Florida when he was only a Sophomore in High School. He knows how to be a star athlete and for the record, water polo is a lot harder than playing football. He also knows that if you ever hit a woman you should lose any rights to even claiming you are an athlete. Because a true athlete has brains and self control in addition to athletic ability.

After hearing what he said about that little punk who is an abuser I couldn’t have been prouder as a mother. I think I must have done something right.

The reason why abuse still happens is because it is tolerated. There should be no tolerance for this kind of behavior in any arena.


I used to have savings. I had a broker, an IRA, a college fund set up for all of my children and some other investments.

It was nice to have at that time in my life. During that time my daughter called me one day telling me she had blacked out. She complained of excruciating headaches and blurred vision also.

I thought it might be related to the birth control pills she was taking and told her to stop taking them immediately. I also told her that she needed to go back to her doctor for a check up.

She said she didn’t have the money. I said don’t worry about it I have savings and I will help out. She apologized for having to use my money.

At this point I had to view my priorities. I loved having money in savings and a rainy day fund but if my daughter suffered a stroke because of the medication she was taking there was one thing that that money couldn’t do. The money wouldn’t make my daughter magically reappear as the beautiful and intelligent daughter she was.

This gave me a whole new viewpoint on savings. I like to have savings but if someone in my family needs money and that money is just sitting in a fund bearing interest it is worthless. Money shared with others for the good of others is money which bears the best interest. The money I used to help my daughter may have saved her life. The interest that I was gaining from that money did not have the ability to heal her.

Savings and a retirement fund is a very wonderful thing to accomplish in life. But if one is more concerned about their IRA’s than the welfare of others one may need to examine their priorities.


I have been honest with those who read my blog that I am not doing well financially. There have been times I asked for donations and I have asked for people to buy ad space. Nobody stepped up to do that.

I struggled for a short time with a bit of anger but got over that pretty quick. I knew that this blog was part of God’s plan for my life and I determined to fulfill His will. I wanted to be submissive to His calling on my life to be a Christian writer. I was dead set against going back into nursing because I considered that rebellion and trying to please others instead of Him.

So I started posting affiliate advertising on my blog. Although some people make a ton of money with that I haven’t made squat so far.

I was running fast and smashing up against a brick wall every time I tried to make money with this blog.So I went back into nursing. I didn’t know if I was going to continue to blog or not.

Funny thing, now that I am back in nursing my stats have almost doubled daily and I am still able to blog on a consistent basis.

Is it easy working a full time job and being involved inn three other ventures on the side? No, it isn’t, but it sure as heck is fun and I am so glad I found a wonderful company to work for.

I have realized how isolated I became in my writing and how much I have missed interacting with others. If God would have prompted others to financially bless me with donations I may have become dependent on them. I prefer to be independent of others and only dependent on God.

I still didn’t know how I was going to make my mortgage payment for the next couple of months. God prompted a family member to be generous with me though and I think I will be okay. It should be enough to keep me floating while I am building up my case load with this company.

If you want to help I am no longer asking for donations but if you buy from the ads I have on the sidebar or on my ad pages it would be a great blessing. No guilt if you don’t though, seriously it is totally okay. I figure if this blog is in God’s hands then it is His responsibility to show me the way to financially support myself while doing this. For the time being I get the privilege of working for one stellar home health company whilst I am blogging. God is good.


I play Solitaire occasionally on my phone. I do it when I need a break from cleaning or if I am in a traffic jam.

Today as I was playing I undid some of my moves to see if other moves would be more advantageous. I also occasionally restart a game if I think I can win it on the second or third try.

I was thinking about this today and realized that we can not do this in real life. We can not rewind and decide not to sin. Sin has consequences and the consequences are usually painful. That doesn’t mean that God can not forgive. He can and will but like a wise Father He allows us to face the fall out from our sin, so we can learn not to sin again.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could go through life and switch to a new life program as you can switch to a new game in Solitaire? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every time we sinned we could hit an undo button and every hurtful word we said could be unsaid? I would be hitting that undo button on a regular basis.

Yet, in Jesus we have claim to a new life. We have the opportunity to be considered righteous before a Holy God, not because we hit the new life button but because Jesus gave His life for our sins.

If you have done something in your past which has caused another one that you love to be hurt, ask them to forgive you and then let it go. If you have said something which has caused someone pain tell them you are sorry. Then go to God and ask Him to hit the undo button and forgive you.

You can not change the past but you can let go of the past and lay claim to a new life in Christ. I guess life is kind of like a Solitaire game if you believe in the salvation of the Son of God.