Last Halloween I met the “devil” in disguise. I was so incensed over the meeting that it took me a whole year to stop spitting fire about the occasion and share it with you.

The “devil” was a published author. He actually got picked up by a publishing house. Like that even happens anymore.

Doesn’t say too much for his intelligence. Anyone with a lick of sense knows self-publishing is the only way to go in this day and age.

We met at a restaurant for drinks and dinner. He was quite taken with my beauty.

We both shared some of our writing with each other.

As I was sitting across the booth from him I kept thinking, “This man is waving his hands in the air when he talks and he looks effeminate. In other words I was thinking either this man needs to come out of the closet or stop waving his hands like a girly girl.

Sorry, I like manly men. Can’t stand men who are feminine or insecure. They are way too easy for me to intimidate. lol

He told me all about why he hadn’t worked for an extended period of time. Apparently the “love of his life” had cancer and he had taken care of her until she passed on. Well, that was sweet.

His mother was also living with him in his condo. The first red flag started waving in the wind.

I told him about my family and my house.

I looked at his writing and was not impressed. He said he had won an award for that piece of writing.

That didn’t mean anything to me it was still a piece of crap as far as literary value was concerned. (Ok, maybe I am not completely done spitting fire)

He invited me to a Halloween party on that haunting night.

Thank God I had a Christian writing seminar to go to that night and I would have arrived too late. I politely declined.

Then he called me and wanted me to invite him over so he could see my house. He had already told his mother about me and she was thrilled that I was a nurse. He was thrilled I had a large house. I guess he assumed they could move in and take over. (wrong assumption)

The red flag was jumping up and down screaming, “Run, Run!  Either that or go buy a gun!” (My red flag thinks it may have a future as a poet laureate)

I could see this man had me pegged as Nancy Nurse. You know the nurses who marry men who are losers because they have such a compassionate heart?

Those same women have to work two to three jobs to support the man and his elderly mother. They then  sit at home and complain about everything under the sun.

In the state of Texas, Nancy nurses not only work themselves to death for men such as this but with Texas law being so ass backward the woman can lose her home in the process of being “Nancy Nurse.”

After I ditched the Halloween party idea I had an invitation for a weekend date from this man.

Thank God for my son. He had a water polo tournament. He is a rocking hot goalie and is awesome to watch.

This man said, “Well I want a relationship and if your son is going to always come first then I have a problem with that.”

Holy shit! Are you kidding me? This is the son whom I hadn’t seen for two years because he was living with his dad in Florida and I was going to spend every single second I could with my son since he moved back to Texas.

This man I had known for only two weeks at the most and he thought I was going to give him priority over my son?


The red flag at this point was growing horns and looking very similar to the devil.

Well, I knew what I had to do. In fact I have had to do it more than once. I don’t mean to brag but I am really pretty damn good at doing this one thing.

No, I didn’t go buy a gun.

I did something nonviolent.

I wrote a “Dear John” letter.

I told the devil the truth. That I really just wanted to pick his brain as a writer and thought of him as a friend. I was polite I didn’t even mention the fact that I thought he just may be dating the wrong gender.

Well, let me tell you one thing that the devil does not like and that is being told the truth! I got one of the nastiest emails I have ever received with the exception of my ex’s third wife and nobody can beat her in the nasty department.

He slammed my writing. (Which may be a good thing considering who the source was) Then he attacked my belief in God.

I read the email and fired one back asking him after he read my email to cease all contact with me.

I am so glad I didn’t have even a second date with him.

Dating the devil is never any fun when you can hang out with God and your son. (Wow,  may be my red flag has some competition in that poet laureate race.) lol







As you probably have gathered I am in a bit of a battle right now in my life. Well, it may be more like a full blown all out war but this is not the first time I have had to fight the devil.

I have been fighting him since I arrived on earth. I wish he would just give up and leave me alone.

For the past five years he has been using my ex-husband and his third wife to attack me. Then there has been my idiot lawyers, the insane judges and now the crazy Texas AG has me within their shooting range for launches of evil.

I have been taught a valuable lesson through this trial.

In 2009 and 2010 my ex-husband decided he was going to try his hand at being a dead beat dad.

I was working a full time job and also a part-time job but it wasn’t enough to pay my bills, so the fact that he didn’t want to be responsible became quite the topic of conversation.

In fact I told my little tale of woe to each and every one who asked me how I was doing. I am thinking they were probably kind enough to wait and roll their eyes when I turned my back.

Then one day while I was getting ready for work I heard the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit. He said, “Your Crisis has become your Christ.”

I used to tell everyone what God was doing in my life but during that crisis it became all about what Satan was doing.

When an attack from Satan comes it can be all consuming. Any tragedy has the capacity to become an idol in your life if it becomes your focus.

The way to dethrone the devil is to praise God and quote scripture continually.

The devil hates that, he would much rather we go on and on about what He is doing, which does not help anyone.

I know  that I am under attack because I am following God’s will for my life. I also know that I can do “all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

I know who has already won this battle and He is on my side, not the devils.

This post is being reposted on www.Harsh Reality on February 6, 2014.




I do believe that the devil was winning yesterday. The battlefield was in my mind. I was thinking that the evil which has been planned against me was successful in its intent.

I know how to fight the devil. I have fought him all of my life. The only weapon that is effective is God’s word. It is what Jesus used when He enduring temptation. What an amazing treasure and gift from God!

So what verses do I use to sharpen my sword of truth? 2 Timothy 1:7 states “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

Yesterday I had stepped out of my fellowship with my sweet Father in heaven. I became hopeless, despondent and I was cast down in my Spirit. I walked around the house crying and thinking horrible self-defeating thoughts.

Then this morning I realized that spirit that was inside was not the right spirit.It was a spirit of fear. It was not welcome in my home any longer. I have a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. I have a God who says he will not allow me to be tempted more than what I am able to bear and will provide a way of escape for me in that temptation.

Death is never an escape. Suicide is a way to harm every single person who has ever loved you and it would have been the most selfish thing for me to do. 

Another verse in the Bible states that I am to subject my mind to Christ. In that effort I am starting to intercede for those who are trying to destroy me. Praying for their salvation, pleading with God to grab their hearts and souls for His kingdom. 

I would rejoice if both of those people would open their hearts to the love of God and experience His forgiveness. I really want both of them in heaven.

I praise God for his Holy word which brings me comfort and I thank Him that it is the only book which sustains me when I am in battle. 

Without God’s word I don’t know if I would still be alive. With God’s word I just stuck a sword right through the heart of the devil.


I will be honest with you, my readers. I have struggled every day for the past three weeks just to survive, trying to direct my thoughts away from ending my life.
These last five years have been so very difficult for me. As I review the court records I see how dishonest everyone was when they handled my case and how everyone from my shit ass lawyers, to the insane judges, to the morally corrupt Texas AG seemed as if they were out to slaughter me and they have been very successful.
Then this past year the American government got in on the bullying. The IRS said I owed them another $1500 for 2011. It was a case of identity theft and it took me 8 damn months to get them to acknowledge that. I don’t know if they would have ever acknowledged it if I hadn’t contacted Senator Ted Cruz and asked his office to intervene.
Yesterday as the sky was exploding with a thunderstorm I got another letter from the Texas AG. I have very little money left but they proceeded to put a lien against my IRA. Today I got another letter stating that they would liquidate my IRA if I didn’t respond within ten days.
I didn’t think that they could touch someone’s retirement. The broker who had helped me set up my IRA said that he had never seen that happen to anyone else. I guess no one else is on the shit list of the Texas AG.
It is ironic that my ex-husband was in arrears double the amount that I am currently in. The Texas AG didn’t put a lien against any of his income, retirement accounts, or any of his property.(He had two houses and four cars)
I don’t know how much more I can take before I just give up.
I know this is heavy and I usually try to use a sense of humor to lighten things up. If I could just stop crying maybe I could get to that place again. It seems that every time I pick myself up I get slammed back down again, so what is the point of even trying.
I have seriously thought about ending my life but with my luck I wouldn’t be successful, so I haven’t thought it all the way through. So don’t call the crazy police yet.
I ask for your prayers. I know God loves me but I just can’t figure out why He isn’t helping me fight this battle. I suspect I am going through this battle because I am trying to follow God’s calling on my life to be a Christian writer. Ever since I got really serious about writing it seems as if the devil has had an open door policy on my finances and my welfare.
For those of you who may think it is because I didn’t honor God with my tithe. Well, you are wrong. I always gave him 10%, sometimes more.
I am worried most that I will lose my house. I have only one house, my ex has three. I love my home though and right now it is my shelter, not only for me but also my daughter and my son when he comes over.
I hope I haven’t scared anyone off but if honesty scared you off then you would have left sooner or later anyway.


My daughter was seventeen years old and had opted to graduate early from high school.

My ex-husband saw this as an opportunity to create drama. He is a “drama king.” He is not happy unless he is embroiled in anger. During our marriage he said that his constant anger gave him energy.

I noticed every time he erupted in anger and spewed his vile out he would be happy for a short time, until the volcano of anger would build and erupt again. What a sick man he is.

His lawyer had appeared in court for him on this particular day. His lawyer will be Mr. Rat from this point on. No offense to rats intended but this guy was a piece of work.

Mr. Rat asked Judge Madness if we could schedule the court hearing for the enforcement of back child support during the time that my ex was going to be in town for my daughter’s graduation.

I approached the bench in this case. I pleaded that he didn’t approve this because this day needed to be about my daughter not her father’s histrionics.

I was so proud of Judge Madness. He got in Mr. Rat’s face and told him he knew exactly how this kind of thing went down in families and he also threatened to put my ex in jail.

So my daughter had her graduation ceremony and I hosted a lovely graduation dinner at a fabulous restaurant in Dallas and even threw together a last minute graduation party for her at my house.

Thanks Judge Madness, I so wish you would have had more moments of sanity.

This was the first time I actually spoke for myself in a court hearing. I wish I would have learned from this that to speak for myself was a much better choice than to have a lawyer speak for me.


It was Mother’s day and the year was 2008. I waited for my children to acknowledge all the hard work that I had done to raise them. I had been a single mother since 1997.

I was at my computer in my study, probably working on my novel, when my oldest son came in to talk with me. 

He had a big smile on his face. He said, “Dad is in town and he wants to take us to dinner.”

I told him it was Mother’s day and his father did not have visitation.

He said, “Yeah, but you are here all the time and he is just here today.”

I burst into tears. Their father had left to go live in Florida so he could start working on making a nasty woman his wife number 3. He had only been in Florida for two months and this is the weekend he decides to breeze back into town?

My kids demanded to go to dinner with him and I didn’t want a fight so I let them go. 

I wondered how come they blew off the mother who had raised them and loved them to go to dinner with a father who had already abandoned them twice for other women?

The only explanation I came up with was that I was the “safe parent.” I had always been there for them through thick and through thin. They knew without a doubt that I loved them.

Their father on the other hand had left their mother to marry a woman who was an alcoholic and an anorexic. He stayed married to her for nine years. 

When that marriage ended he jumped right into another one. In fact he moved to another state for that nasty woman. 

He was anything BUT a safe parent. 

They knew I loved them. I think they doubted whether he did, so they would grab at any morsel of time with him when they could get it. 

A couple of years later this son and I had a talk and he said that he didn’t think his father could love. 

This was not something new to me. I had been married to the man for twelve years I knew he didn’t know how to love. 

It is a shame that a man who doesn’t know how to love was the reason that a mother who loved her children dearly, did not get celebrated on Mother’s day.

Seek Peace and Pursue It

Those are the words i heard in the middle of the night a few weeks ago.  

I didn’t know what to think. I am engaged in battle on several fronts and to achieve peace in my life I need to win all of those battles. 

I started thinking about my life and what I could do to seek peace.

Did it mean that God wanted me to refrain from these battles? I don’t think so because I know that He gave me a scripture to stand on for both of these battles.

So what did He mean? 

I think it was the manner that I chose to go about engaging in the battle.

Was I going to email my ex-husband threats or just serve him with court papers? 

Was I going to get myself thrown in jail for the Keystone Pipeline protest?

 Or would a better strategy be to post an intelligent blog about the Keystone Pipeline based on fact and maybe constitutional infringement which could incite others to contact their legislators?

Battles will come and go and it may not always be whether you win or not but how you fight that God may be observing. 

I intend to win on all fronts but I intend to do so with peace in my heart and compassion in my soul. I believe that if I fight in that manner then God will not retreat from the battle but will release his power to help me win.


I have had a few girlfriends over the course of my lifetime who have had the unfortunate delusion that they are God’s messenger in my life. 

That implies that I wouldn’t listen to God if he was speaking. Are you kidding me? I beg for that still gentle voice to speak to me. I love hearing the whispers of the Holy Spirit.

The only problem I have is that God isn’t the conversationalist I would like Him to be. He seems to be the only one in this world who really makes any sense and He is the one who doesn’t talk that much. 

Well, one of my girlfriends always told me what God told her to tell me about what I needed to do differently.

This really grated on my nerves and it didn’t always line up with what God had told me directly. 

She also supposedly received dreams on my behalf. One of those dreams I believe was from God because it was a warning about an alcoholic I dated.

The other dream I think was from Satan. She said that she had seen me back with my ex-husband and we had another child. She said it was the only dream that she had ever had in color.

I was furious when I heard that because I knew that God had released me from my marriage and when I get that kind of anger boiling inside of me I run to the Word of God to calm myself down.

I turned right to Matthew 23:8-10. This passage says, “But you must not be called ‘Teacher’ because you have only one Teacher, and you are all brothers and sisters together. And don’t call any person on earth ‘Father’ because you have one Father, who is in heaven. And you should not be called ‘Master’ because you have only one Master, the Christ.” (The Everyday Bible translation)

That passage calmed me down. I knew that my anger was righteous in origin, so it was ok.
. I did not need to look to anyone else other than God for my direction. This woman, despite her delusion, was NOT God. 

I find it ironic that this dream was in color.  I believe that the devil was the angel of light, I think a colorful dream may have been his forte.’