This was a topic that I saw posted on a Christian Writer’s blog. It was a thought provoking question.
I was wrestling with this in my personal life. An ex-boyfriend was begging for forgiveness and reconciliation.
I had changed my phone number, blocked him from my email and now he had resorted to sending me letters, cards and dropping off food and gifts on my front porch.
Surely I should reconcile with this man. Right?
I was not at peace when I thought of reconciliation with this man. I was finally living my life and enjoying it, how dare he disturb my joy.
He said that God had pointed out what he should ask forgiveness for.
Yeah, that’s right, now he was using the God card in his play for my heart.
I found his pleas for forgiveness self serving. Most of them revolved around the times he had pushed me away when I tried to show him affection.
I endured the cards for a week, then I put “Return to Sender” on the front and “STOP CONTACTING ME – we are over,” on the back. That card went back in the mailbox.
I went out to the mailbox the next afternoon because I felt bad. I didn’t want to hurt him. I guess it was much easier to hurt myself and my relationship with God.
The letter was gone. It had been sent.
I would have to deal with my guilt.
The next morning I was still battling the guilt and I started praying over the situation.
I received a revelation from God.
He hadn’t asked forgiveness for what God would want me to forgive him for.
The items he would have asked forgiveness for if he was truly hearing from God would have been:
#1 – Forgiveness for encouraging me to sin by having premarital sex. I had asked him several times to not pressure me to do that. The pressure continued.
#2 Forgiveness for disrespecting my intelligence and my worth as a human and for valuing me only for the sexual pleasure my body could give him and my outward beauty.
#3 Forgiveness for lying to me for four years, saying that he would move to my house and sell his.
#4 Forgiveness for lying to me about a relationship with another woman who may have had ill intentions for our relationship.
I don’t know who he heard, or if he was just making it all up. I doubt that he heard God. God does not speak through the Holy Spirit in contrast to what is written in His word.
Once i received wisdom from God, I let go of the guilt. I realized that I had chosen the right response.
Instead of reconciling with someone who would lead me back into sin, I chose to draw closer to God by walking away from reconciliation.