UNEXPECTED CHANGES

At times it seems as if my schedule is more about handling unexpected changes, than sticking to my schedule.
There are times in life when I think I have my day planned. Most days I plan my schedule and then hand it over to God. Involved in this handing over thing is a bit of pleading that I will get my tasks done.

This Saturday I had a full day planned. My son was leaving in the morning to go back to Louisiana to attend college. I always send a lot of food along with him. I think between the gift cards I bought him for restaurants and my left overs he shouldn’t have to spend any money on food until long after Christmas.

I get special joy in providing nutrition for this son because during one of my family court battles I was accused of not feeding him. That was such a blatant lie and such a wicked accusation that I knew it originated in the devil. So every time I feed my children I get super happy because I know it gets the devil’s horns all twisted in a mess.

While my son was still preparing to get on his way, the doorbell rang. The guy who was hanging my Christmas lights on my house was standing on my front porch. I gave him my lights and then started back upstairs to help my son change his linens. That way when he came home for Christmas it would be an easy transition.

I had initially planned to meet someone in Dallas to go to the Arboretum but those plans fell through. I was disappointed because I really wanted to see the beautiful display. After praying for a bit I realized I didn’t really have time to go all the way to Dallas. My house was in an uproar with boxes of Christmas decorations scattered throughout.

I started working on unpacking my decorations and God provided a dinner with a friend opportunity that was close by my house. I didn’t get the whole house decorated yet but I did have a wonderful day. I knew that God was in control and although my day hadn’t turned out as planned I was content with the unexpected changes.


BLOOD LINES

Lately I have been exposed to a new kind of ridiculousness. I met someone who told me about people in Dallas who appear to think they are better than others because they come from a “Pedigreed” blood line.

Alright now, I know that pedigree can make a difference in cats, dogs and maybe horses but people? Yepper, in Dallas their are whole families of people who have their noses up in the air because of their families money.

This person said that he had dated one of these “aristocrats”. He said her family had businesses in several different countries and that she didn’t need to work. The only work she did was an hour or two every now and then. She worked for her Dad. Apparently that was exhausting for her.

One of the traits of people in this class of lunacy is that they are rarely ever satisfied. They send food back again and again at restaurants. They complain if they are not treated as if they are royalty and they demand the best. I mean they deserve the best because of their blood line right?

I have been in homes in Fort Worth, due to my job, that would fit into this class. There is a marked difference though. The aristocrats of Fort Worth are not snooty. They are very welcoming and kind. They have invited me into their home as I have provided health care for them. Some of them have a coat of arms for their family; just as some of my friends are designing for their own family. The shield does not hide a proud heart though.

If I searched back through my heritage I know I would find a very hard working and wealthy blood line that emanated from Prussia. I am aware that my great grandfather on my father’s side was a very wealthy man and my father is not poverty stricken either but I don’t believe that gives me a right to treat others harshly.

In fact, I do believe that it really doesn’t matter in the long run which “blood line” you are born into. The only thing which matters is that Jesus’ blood covers your sin. If you believe that Jesus died on the cross to be the bridge of forgiveness to get back to God then you are actually considered His child. Now that is a royal blood line that beats all others.

AN INAPPROPRIATE TEXT

It was quite a while ago when this happened. I had merely met the man for drinks. I didn’t intend for it to be any more than a one time affair. The conversation we had over drinks led me to a quick conclusion. We were on two different paths. I think I may have given him a goodbye kiss but nothing more than that.

It was on a Sunday morning when I got the text. I was in church. Thank God on that morning I decided to watch my church service on my computer in my bedroom. The text was inappropriate. I texted back and told him I was in church. It didn’t seem to bother him but it ignited fury within my heart. Sunday is my day with God, furthermore I was in worship and to have this text come across my visual field was offensive.

Then God started infusing my mind with His wisdom. He reminded me of a verse which said that my body was His temple.

I Corinthians 6:19-20. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in y0u, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”

Christ reigns within my heart and when men disrespect me with their sexual aggression it is an offense to God himself. It doesn’t matter if it happens when I am in church because according to God I carry church with me everywhere.

Over the past week it is apparent that the inability to treat women with respect crosses all lines in America. To be a Christ centered single mother and to have to endure the circus of insanity which is circling around Donald Trump is trying my last nerve. It is NOT okay to kiss, grab, or sexually assault a woman without their consent. It is NOT okay to sex text anyone that you barely know. Locker room banter is not appropriate if it demeans another person. Donald Trump is a bully and he does not treat women in a manner that is worthy of a Christian.

Donald Trump may have been blessed with an enormous amount of wealth but you can’t buy class and he has no class. I would rather be poor and have dignity than be enormously wealthy and act like a buffoon.

SCHEDULE

I usually work on a bit of a schedule. I am also almost always late but I kind of have a plan for each day when I wake up.

A couple of weekends ago I was in a fix in regards to my schedule. It was the last weekend that the pool was open in my neighborhood and I wanted to swim. There was one big problem with that idea. Clouds were in the sky and it looked like rain.  If there is any lightening within the sky the pool will close down. There have been many times when I have been shooed out of the pool on account of lightening.

So I kept looking out my bedroom window at the sky as I put my bathing suit on. I only had a short time in which to swim because I had plans to go to church with a guy friend of mine that evening. One minute I would look out it would be cloudy and the next minute sunny.

Finally I got a little put out and decided to bring the situation to God. I told God that I wanted to swim and I needed His cooperation. I had to have sunshine. I hadn’t swam much all summer and I wanted one last hurrah in the pool. Then I gathered my towel and made sure my goggles and swim cap were in the car and drove to the pool. I jumped in the pool and had the most delightful swim, something about it being the last swim of summer made it extra special.

After swimming close to a half of a mile, I got out, toweled off and went home, jumped in the shower and started to get ready for my church date. Then I happened to see my poor butterfly bush on my back patio. It was drooping. It needed some rain. I felt a twinge of guilt and got to praying again, now asking for rain and thanking him for the sunshine he had just given me so that I could swim. I kid you not, within 15 minutes there was a deluge of rain.

Okay but this rain was coming down in sheets and you know I had that church date planned with my guy friend. Right? He was supposed to be doing a reading in his church. I really wanted to go but the rain was a bit dangerous looking. So I texted him that if it continued I would stay at home. Soon after, the sun came out.

So I got in my car and drove to his church. He actually didn’t need to do the reading that day so we went out to dinner instead. I felt a bit guilty about not going to church but by this time I had totally given control to God so the guilt was soon abated.  We had a nice dinner and when I got home I realized that my butterfly bush could have used more rain so I asked God if he wouldn’t mind? The next day it rained all day.

I felt like such a spoiled brat that day but this isn’t the first time that God had changed the weather because of prayer nor will it be the last. I get so tickled when he does it on account of me. I think he is the most delightful Father ever and when he changes the weather because I have said a prayer I just get the giggles. Makes me want to crawl in His big lap and cover him with kisses and hugs. He is the delight of my heart, soul and mind. He is my Lord and King.

Leviticus 26:3  “If you follow my decrees and are careful to obey my commands, I will send you the seasonal rains.”

THE PARK

I saw her in the park a few months ago. She had moved back in with her parents. They were already taking care of her older son. Now she had another baby boy, with no father in the picture.

When I saw her in the park, I caught the look that crossed her face. It was just there for a fleeting moment. A look of despair and shame, as if I was judging her. I crossed the playground, and with each step, her face changed from a look of condemnation to one of joy.

I made small talk with her and asked her about her baby boy that was snuggled next to her chest. She lit up as we talked about her precious bundle of boy joy. I made sure I caught his name because I intended to bless him with some sleepers.

As I considered what I wanted to buy, I had a few thoughts from the devil wandering in my mind. “You know she hardly talks with you at all and her mother rarely even acknowledges you.  You don’t have enough money for yourself, what are you doing spending your money on a someone you barely know? She is probably a slut. I mean really… she is living with her parents and has two children. ”

All of these thoughts went through my mind but I didn’t listen to them. Instead I kept shopping for the little tyke. He was one of three baby boys I was planning to bless. Sometimes you just got to listen to who is in your heart and Jesus is in my heart. He does a pretty good job of having me ignore thoughts put in my mind by the devil.

I got all three boys some awesome sleepers at Target and gave this single mother her package.  She was very thankful and sent me the sweetest thank you note.

Yesterday my neighborhood had a garage sale. I walked over to talk with her and her mother during the sale. It was nice to chat with them. I sold a few things and then as I was loading things up to take them to Goodwill a thought occurred to me. Why not give all of my clothes to this single mother instead of Goodwill?

So I walked across the street and asked her if she would like my cast offs? She said, “Sure she would love to have them.”

She came over to my garage and we began to talk.  As she told me her story, she opened my heart to love, not condemnation. The reason why her older son was living with her parents was because the baby’s Dad was abusive. It eventually got so bad that she had to move in with her parents for the safety of herself and her baby. She is not in any way a slut, she is a mother who was smart enough to realize that abuse was not her fault.

When I think back to all of the horrible things the devil was trying to get me to believe about this young woman I am so thankful that God had another plan. I gave her the majority of my clothes that I didn’t sell.  It is such a wonderful feeling to help someone who is walking the same path you have walked.

I wonder if I had not walked the path of a single mother in my own life would I be as quick to love her?

This just highlights the amazing love that God has given us through the gift of His Son. Jesus was without sin, yet did not judge us for ours, instead He sacrificed His very life so that we could be forgiven.

I realize that I haven’t a clue how to love someone like that.

 

 

PAIN

It started with pain in my elbow. My elbow would hurt if I lifted my briefcase out of my car. It hurt if I twisted my arm. Then it progressed to feeling as if a knife was slashing through the bone without any provocation at all..

The pain was infrequent though, so I did what I normally do with ailments. I ignored it. Pretty soon my shoulder was starting to hurt. Soon my whole right arm was getting to the point where I couldn’t lift things without pain. It started to hurt when I was sleeping.

At this point I totally freaked out because I knew what the problem was. It was the surgery I had several years ago to repair a shattered collar bone. My surgeon had wanted to take the metal out right after my bone healed and I didn’t know why. I told him I didn’t have the money for that and I didn’t do it. Now I realized why he may have wanted to remove it.

I have Obamacare and I pay quite a bit in premiums only to have to pay the full amount when I go to the doctor because the deductible is so high. It is in no way affordable. I believe it is the biggest con job that the government has forced the American people to swallow in the history of this great nation.

I don’t think the original surgeon is even on my insurance policy and no other surgeon would remove the metal.  So basically if I don’t have several thousand dollars to throw to the wind I am forced to live with the pain.  For the record I have no such money laying around and I prefer not to get into any more debt due to medical ailments. I am still trying to get out of the debt from the first part of the year, when I had all of the problems with my throat.

I was getting quite hysterical with these thoughts whirling through my mind. Finally I resorted to prayer. God is the only one in my entire circle of friends who can stop the Ferris wheel of hysteria which renders my mind a wasteland of chaos.

I told him I was hurting. I also told him that I didn’t have the money to do what I knew needed to be done to stop the pain. I also reminded him that I was still tithing even though I was hardly able to pay my bills. (A little guilt job there if I do say so myself) Then I said if He could please help me or heal me I would be very grateful because pain in my dominant arm was becoming a hindrance to me.

It is amazing what He did. He lured my mind back to the box where my S2 watch was in. A friend of mine had gotten that for me. I was a bit concerned when I opened the box. There was a pamphlet the size of a mini Webster Dictionary that had safety precautions listed in it.

God reminded me that before I started wearing a fit bit, or that S2 watch, I had no right arm pain.

So I stopped wearing the S2 watch and the fit bit. I wear them sometimes when I go for my walk but not all day. The hypothesis I formed was as follows:  the radiation from the S2 and fit bit was interacting with the metal in my collar bone to produce severe pain in my arm.

I stopped wearing the S2 or the fit bit a few days ago and the pain started to dissipate but I hadn’t exercised that arm at all, so I hadn’t really tested my hypothesis.

I tested my theory yesterday and swam close to 1/2 mile and didn’t have much pain. Today my elbow is still hurting and my underarm is  a bit tender but I have only been without the S2 for a few days. In addition to not wearing these devices I am going to move the charging station I have for all of my electronic devices to the room that is farthest from my bedroom. I will use the S2 and the fitbit occasionally but not if I am experiencing pain of any kind.

God may have not healed my arm but what he did do was guide me in a path to determine what I was doing to compromise my own health.

IDENTITY THEFT

I have been the victim of identity theft several times in my lifetime. I have a suspicion as to who is behind some of it but no evidence, so I have not pressed charges.

I have filed a police report for one occurrence. The government and credit agencies have me on a watch list so that I get special protection. Other than that I am at a loss as to how to deal with losers who steal from good people.

Recently I got a notification that someone was trying to use my name to open a credit card account in Florida.

This makes me angry. I work very hard to establish good credit and pay my bills on time. I have done without many luxuries in order to do so.  To establish a good reputation and a good name requires a lot of effort. I have put in the effort.

This person who is trying to ride on my good name has done nothing at all to deserve what I have worked for. They are a cheat and a thief and they are lower than a scum bag.

My identity is more than just my credit rating though. I carry the identity of Christ in my heart. That is why I find dishonesty hard to endure in my own life.  Although I have difficulty paying some of my bills currently, I wouldn’t think of opening up a credit card that someone else would have to pay for.

I may not always do the right thing but I know the importance of confessing and repenting of my sins.

A large part of my financial identity is tied to Christ because I have been privileged enough to be able to tithe to God. I attribute many of my blessings to this ability that God has given me. The ability to put God first in my financial affairs has rendered me many returns.

So when I think of this thief who keeps trying to steal from me I pity her/him because they have no identity in God. They must be a miserable failure to try to steal from a single mother of three children.

Interesting enough, the latest attempt to steal from me was shut down before it even started. Citibank did not allow the scum bag to open up the credit line using my identity. I have never heard of a credit card company being that smart and proactive. I applaud them.

More than that, I applaud God in Heaven who consistently provides for me. He keeps me safe from harm. He is my almighty redeemer.

PRAYER REQUEST

I have a prayer request this morning. My son is currently taking the entrance exam for graduate studies in Orlando. He has been studying for this test for quite some time.

If you could I would love for you to pray that the Lord’s will be done in this matter.

He is hoping to score well enough that he can get into a stellar doctoral program.

When he was just a child I had a dream that he was going to be a professor at Harvard and God has given him the intelligence to make that dream a reality. His goal is to cure cancer. I believe that God may be on board with that goal.

He is taking the test this morning and is probably already almost done. I usually don’t ask for personal prayers to be noted on my blog that is the reason for my late post. He said I didn’t need to put it before my audience but I believe that God is blessed when we share our concerns with each other.

Thank you to everyone who whispers a prayer on behalf of my son and the God who is so worthy of leading him down the best path.

FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE

The other day one of my friends was sharing with me the plight of a young mother and I thought at the time I could help her out a bit financially. So being that I am the generous type I offered some assistance. I hit a brick wall with that offer. It was uncanny because I knew the young lady was in dire straights. I remained silent though and prayed about. The group of friends I was with was my Bible study group.

The very next week my son called from Louisiana. He was in dire straights financially and his father has refused to help him. I had a long conversation with my son and told him to stop asking his father for money. It only hurts my son when his Dad keeps refusing to help him. I don’t want my son becoming bitter when it is in relation to his father.

I have much less money than his father has but I have a bigger heart, so somehow I have always been able to do without something so that my kids can have what they need. I proceeded to send my son the money that I may have given to a stranger the week before.

Then the next week came along and now my Bible study friend was willing to take the money I had offered previously. I didn’t have it to give anymore. I had given it to my son. I think it was God who closed the door for me to give to that woman. I am sure there is someone much more wealthy than I who can help her out. I had to help my son out first. That is my God given responsibility and my friend was very accepting of this.

Lately I have been hitting the skids in my job. That is the way this business is. It is either feast or famine and lately my bank account has been very hungry.

I get upset when my paycheck is meager because currently I am in quite a bit of debt and I am wanting to pay it off and get ahead.

Then the last few weeks there have been numerous cases which have fallen through for me. This usually means I drive clear across town, wasting my time and my gas and don’t get a penny paid for it.

So I think I have quite a bit of reason to complain and whine and cry about my current situation in finances. But I don’t. I have vented to several people in my company and told them I need more work. I will give them a few months to get their act together and if it doesn’t happen within that time frame I will find another company to work for. No big deal. I think communication is important in a career and I have communicated my discontent.

However, I have done much more than that. I have also prayed and asked God for guidance. He has reminded me that I was very busy just a few months ago and was making very good money. I was so busy working I didn’t have much time to write in the novel He and I are working on. I also didn’t blog very much at all. I was a bit concerned about this. So he put the skids on my work so I could do more work for and with Him. God is pretty cool about me having some time to kick back a little. I mean after all He was the one who started the Sabbath.

But he didn’t do it without surrounding me with friends who help me out.I have two very wonderful friends who either take me grocery shopping or shower me with gift cards and I have a couple who also insist that they pay for every meal when we go out together. I have parents who love me very much and who help out when they can which is very hard for them because they are struggling currently in their finances. I have so many people who shower me with blessings, it is not just my company. If it was just my job I may be thanking God for a company. Because of my wonderful friends and family I am thanking God for a whole lot more.

DRIVING IN A STORM

I mentioned to my audience an unusual event which happened to me a few weeks ago. I saw the start of a rainbow in a field right off the highway. I have been meditating on that event for quite some time. Hoping I don’t forget the wonder of it all and looking to God for enlightenment

This morning I was thinking of how I felt as I was driving through the storm. I was scared, worried and anxious. I was driving a rental car and I was worried that it may start to hail. This dangerous storm reminded me of a time from my past.

Several years ago I went through a terrible storm in my personal life. Through this storm the feelings of betrayal, hurt and fear were daily companions to my every thought. It wasn’t just people who betrayed me, I also felt betrayed by God.

The thought occurred to me that maybe I should just abandon God. I mean after all, he hadn’t listened to my prayers and in this instance I was sure the evil party was winning. Why believe in a God who does not support justice right?

There was just one teensy problem with that idea. God has consistently been the one I run to when I am hurt. I didn’t have a whole lot of experience running to myself. I had wonderful friends during this time in my life but I didn’t want to call them at 3 am when the terrifying thoughts of betrayal came storming into my dreams. I would crumble into tears and call upon my God at that time, pleading with Him to take the pain away.

I am ashamed to admit that I didn’t think of looking for a rainbow. I was focused on the storm. The memories of that horrible time in my life still bring me to a point of tears. Now as I am looking back, I see the sunlight of God’s wisdom shining through my tears.

The reason why I started this blog was because of that storm. I have grown my closer to my adult daughter because of that storm. Those who attacked me and betrayed me are now the ones who are hated. I continue to remain loved. It has expanded the reach of my testimony because I can relate to other women or men who have gone through this same kind of storm.

When you are going through a storm with the wind of betrayal pelting your heart and hate beating on your back it is very difficult to see a rainbow. When evil wins the fight for justice and no one is in your corner, it can feel as if you are surrounded by darkness.

Yet I ask you to remember one fact about rainbows. There has never been a rainbow without a storm and sunlight. Rainbows are formed when sunlight intersects a raindrop.

I know firsthand how vicious a storm can be but I also have seen the beginning of a rainbow…